How many true friends do you believe you have?

Me: Define "true friend." Shrink: Someone you feel you can tell anything. Me: 11,419.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call an elephant with a poor memory?

A bold and innovative departure from the hackneyed stereotypes that all too often dominate the joke-telling industry.

How do Mexican peanuts tell time?

Cacawatches

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?

Down in the mouth!

How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What's do Christians and politicians have in common?

They pick and choose what they want to believe.

Why are there no owls here?

I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE THERE WOULD BE OWLS HERE! #hooters

Define Jokes More Define Jokes

How do you define a farmer?

Someone that's outstanding in their field.

How do you define a will?

Hint: It's a dead giveaway.

Shrink Jokes More Shrink Jokes

How many shrinks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

Why did the hoagie go to the shrink?

He was having problems with his sub-conscious.