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How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

When's the best time of day to start a diet?

4:00 For:Klock

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

School Jokes More School Jokes

Why did a Mexican girl get pregnant?

She was told to do an essay in school.

Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

What did you learn in school today?

Not enough I have to go back tomorrow!

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins.   Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.