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What can you tell a black kid to do?

Go visit his family tree.

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Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

How much liquor does it take before you start telling racist jokes?

For me, it's about three fifths.

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What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why shouldn't you wear loose fitting shorts when visiting Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout

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What is the black kid getting for Christmas?

Your T.V.

Why did they invent white chocolate?

So black kids could get messy too.

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What can you tell a black kid to do?

Go visit his family tree.

What did the white guy see when he looked at his family tree?

A straight line.