What'd be worse?

Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do black people and bikes have in common?

Both get thrown out when they have no use

Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

What was the vegan craving when he got bit by a zombie?

GRRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSS

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Why is grandpa running daddy?

Shut up son, and give me another shell.

Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, "Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?

Then I wonder if it knows something I don't.

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

Why are these Facebook status updates so much more interesting than usual?

Oh, because this isn't Facebook - it's a mattress label. My bad.

Zombie Apocalypse Jokes More Zombie Apocalypse Jokes

What'd be worse?

Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter

Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse?

Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.