Zombie Apocalypse Jokes

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

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Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains

What does a gamer call the zombie apocalypse?

The end of DayZ

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Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

Why is the topmost floor the best place to drink in?

That's how you set the bar high.

Where is the best place to find hot grills?

A barbecue

Gamer Jokes More Gamer Jokes

What is every gamers New Years Resolution?

3840x2160

Why did the gamer cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Which one do you let in?

The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby?

A trampoline doesn't look adorable in a sailor outfit

Brain Jokes More Brain Jokes

Why couldn't the skeleton add 1 + 1?

Because he doesn't have a brain

What happens when Lucy starts using 100% of her brain?

She's almost as smart as a man.

Safe Place Jokes More Safe Place Jokes

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

Why is the galley the safest place to be on a capsizing ship?

Because everything but the kitchen sinks. =D

Sorority Jokes More Sorority Jokes

What do you call a group of girls from a sorority?

A horde.

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

Why does Naruto vomit after every meal?

He's

What do clocks do when they're still hungry after a meal?

They go back four seconds.