Zombie Apocalypse Jokes

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

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Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains

What does a gamer call the zombie apocalypse?

The end of DayZ

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Radio Shack Jokes More Radio Shack Jokes

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

End Jokes More End Jokes

How did you end up here?

Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.

Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise?

High Seas Dead People

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

What did the terrorist say to the waiter after his meal?

These hot wings have made me a ticking time bomb.

How's the meal?

Me: I dunno. Let me check *pulls out phone Me: Not good. It only got 2 likes on Instagram Waiter: ...

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

Whatsapp &amp?

Facebook?

Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

What happened when the wheel was invented?

It caused a revolution.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How does my football throw look to you?

Me: Like you're good at science...

Why was tigger looking down the toilet?

Because he was looking for Pooh!

Safe Place Jokes More Safe Place Jokes

Where is the safest place to stay at Ferguson?

The public pool, if it is too crowded try the library.

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion?

Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains