Zombie Apocalypse Jokes

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

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Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse?

Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.

What'd be worse?

Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter

What do you call a disabled person during a zombie apocalypse?

Meals on wheels...

Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains

What does a gamer call the zombie apocalypse?

The end of DayZ

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What's the safest place to be during a North Korean missile strike?

The place they are aiming at.

What is the safest place in the galaxy?

In the direct line of fire of a Storm Trooper.

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What is white and interferes with the meal?

An avalanche.

Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?

Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."

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What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

Both looking for a tight seal.

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

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Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

The mirror

Gamer Jokes More Gamer Jokes

What is the difference between a 3D modeller and a gamer?

Ask them what a 3Ds is.

What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common?

They both have problems finding x.

Living Room Jokes More Living Room Jokes

How did Helen Keller get punished?

Her mom rearranged the living room

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

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What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb?

I have made a grave mistake.

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead!

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

What is a parrot's favorite game?

Hide and Speak!