What did Hillary say when she lost?

Putin end to my life.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did Victoria lose her job?

We don't know, it's Victoria's secret.

Why did the lion always lose at poker?

He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs!

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Why will the ghost never succeed in life?

He's too eeriesponsible!!!!

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do all polish names end in ski?

Because they can't spell toboggan (This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)

Is the pool safe for diving?

It deep ends.

Hillary Jokes More Hillary Jokes

What is Hillary's newest election slogan?

Rigged, for her pleasure.

How does a snail win a race?

It runs against Hillary.

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

What's Putin's new favorite song?

Crimea River

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!