What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart?

A tutor.

Which phone??

Person 1: Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2: Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1: So what about summers then? Person 2: Same, it freezes often as well

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills?

Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How does a barber make phone calls?

He cuts them short.

What qualifies you to be a ninja?

Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!