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What do disabled people get when there's a fire in the building?

Left behind

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

Who is left?

Marco Rubio

People Jokes More People Jokes

Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy

What do you call people waiting in line for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue.

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

What do snakes use to build clocks?

Metal Gears

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?

He was always standing up on the job!

What's red and orange and looks good on hipsters?

Fire.