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What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

Skelly-vision!

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What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

Why do they want to change the faces on dollars but not on coins?

Because the only constant is change.

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What do you call Rowan Atkinson watching Monty Python?

A jellybean.

What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky?

Cornography

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What do you call the ghost of a dessert-chef who returns no matter how many times they're exorcised?

A boo-meringue

Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche?

At a ghastly station.

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What can relax you and drown you at the same time?

A one-hour facial.

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.