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What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namast (nah-ima-stay)

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What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

What's the last thing each tickle-me-Elmo doll gets before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles

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What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?

Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

How does a chef ask to leave the dinner table?

He says, "Gourmet I be excused?"

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

What did the hippie say when asked to leave the party?

Namaste.

What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house?

Namaste

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What do hippies say when you tell them to get off your couch?

Namaste

How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.