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What do onions and people have in common?

I weep uncontrollably when I cut them.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?

It reads "Small medium at large."

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do frat boys cut down trees?

With a sah, dude

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a seesaw

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

Why do onions have poor self-image?

Because people cry when they get onions naked.

Where do you find an old Onion article?

In thier archives.

Weep Jokes More Weep Jokes

What do onions and people have in common?

I weep uncontrollably when I cut them.

Why do black men weep when they make love to white women?

Mace.