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What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common?

They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?

Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

What's the difference between a Nun and a lady taking a bath?

The Nun has hope in her soul and the lady taking a bath has soap in her hole.

Inch Jokes More Inch Jokes

Why do we measure snakes in inches?

Because they don't have any feet!

Whats six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild?

Money.