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What do you call a person who steals and is then praised by his/her friends?

A Redditor.

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Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do you call a person who delivers horribly?

A re-postman. Or a re-post person if you feel triggered.

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What is the difference between an egg and a redditor?

Eggs get laid at least once.

What's the difference between an elevator and a redditor?

An elevator has a GF

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!

Praise Jokes More Praise Jokes

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

What's the highest form of praise you can receive from a pimp?

A back-handed compliment.