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What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?

Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do old people often do?

Die

Where we going?

Will there be food Why do I have to die Why didn't you like my last pic..

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What is 10 years with me?

Wife:What is 10 years with me Husband:A second. Wife:What is $1000 for me Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok give me a coin. Husband:Wait a second

Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea?

Because he didn't wait for it to be cool.

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

How many cuckolds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Somebody else does the screwing for 'em.

Why was the lightbulb invented?

Somebody had an idea.

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton?

Ho, ho, ho!

Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas Eve?

Because of the Ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.