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What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.

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How many plug-in air fresheners does it take to mask the decay of human flesh?

I'm asking for for a friend.

What's the worst question you can ask a blind date?

So.. you seeing anyone

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Where is your mother from?

The second Eskimo says "Alaska."

Which is the worst hand to lose?

The second one.

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What is a proctologist's drink of choice?

Two fingers of whiskey.

Why do bald men cut holes in their pockets?

So they can run their fingers through their hair.

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Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

What did the proctologist say to the pirate?

Show me your booty.