What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

This joke may have profanity.
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What is this the difference between America and Greece?

15 years.

What is the difference between God and a police officer?

God doesn't think he's a police officer.

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How does Trent Reznor's mom hang up his Christmas stocking?

With a Nine Inch Nail.

What's green and hangs from trees?

Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus get his beach bod for the summer?

Cross fit

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

Picture Jokes More Picture Jokes

Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck?

He was in charge of refresh mints.

What do you say when your GIF doesn't work?

You get the picture.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why is Jesus so bad at hockey?

Because he keeps getting nailed to the boards!

What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane?

If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor