What's the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between a joke and your friend's blog?

You enjoy it when a joke is posted on Facebook

What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?

The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

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Why didn't the Buddhist monk vacuum under his couch?

He had no attachments.

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

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Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway?

Because there's a parrot on the shoulder.

How do you tell the difference between an X and Y chromosome?

You pull down its genes.