What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus?

Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard?

Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

What did Jesus say to Melchior?

Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

How much does a plumber make in an hour?

It depends on how much crack he can produce.

11 Jokes More 11 Jokes

What do you call 11 people on national television debatting religion?

The Republican presidential candidates.

Why is 11 afraid of 9?

Because ten, nine ate!