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What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night?

Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed?

Holy Sheet!

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Where do you get a drink on Excel?

Formula bar

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

Rude"olph

What did the elevator say to the stairs?

Never mind, I'll escalator

Gutter Jokes More Gutter Jokes

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter!

What is round, heavy, has 3 holes, and is often found in a gutter?

My ex wife.