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What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How did the flea learn to use the internet?

He had to start from scratch.

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's black on the outside and white on the inside?

Whitney Houston's nose

What do a redhead and a freezer have in common?

They've both got ice on the inside.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What did one sick casket say to the other sick casket?

Is that you, coffin?

What did one casket say to the other casket?

Hey, is that you coffin? Ba-dum-tsk...

Elvis Presley Jokes More Elvis Presley Jokes

Why can't Elvis Presley drive?

Cause he's dead.

Why can't Elvis Presley roll backwards with his car?

Because he is dead