What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What do you give a Greek man with a scratchcard?

A coin to scratch it with.

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

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What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?

Alphabet Soup.

Why are you not laughing?

Cos I'm quitting today.

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What's crunchy on the outside and airy in the inside?

A lightbulb.

Why do airplanes manufactured in Spain have windshield wipers on the inside?

Because the rain in Spain falls mostly in the plain.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How much for the vacation home?

Sir, this is a coffin.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Elvis Presley Jokes More Elvis Presley Jokes

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

Why can't Elvis Presley roll backwards with his car?

Because he is dead