What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What do you say to Harry Potter when he has a mosquito bite he can't stop scratching?

Quidditching

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

Claude

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

How do I look today?

Bruno Mars: "When I see your faceeee" Girl: "Ok ok I get it."

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's black on the outside, green on the inside and can go through walls?

Ghost avocado.

What's on the inside of a clean nose?

Fingerprints.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

Elvis Presley Jokes More Elvis Presley Jokes

Why can't Elvis Presley roll backwards with his car?

Because he is dead

Why can't Elvis Presley drive?

Cause he's dead.