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What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How'd you get the scratches?

Flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

Claude

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

What did you learn in school today Son: How to write Mother: What did you write?

Son: I don't know they haven't taught us how to read yet!

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?

Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

Why are calculators grey and boring?

Cause it's what's on the inside that counts! EDIT: it was a joke guys:(

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

What did one casket say to the other casket?

Hey, is that you coffin? Ba-dum-tsk...

Elvis Presley Jokes More Elvis Presley Jokes

Why can't Elvis Presley roll backwards with his car?

Because he is dead

Why can't Elvis Presley drive?

Cause he's dead.