What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Where have you been?

He asked. "To my mother-in-law's burial." "Then why the scratches on your face " "She kept resisting, that old fart."

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

"Today children we will learn our ABC's"

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

The lid said, "Twist to open."

What would they put on his coffin?

A lid!

Kim Jong Il Jokes More Kim Jong Il Jokes

How did Kim Jong-Il begin his audio autobiography?

Dear Reader

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.