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What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

Why is Vanilla Ice scratching his head?

Lice. Lice, maybe.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

What would Hellen Keller be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of the coffin.

Kim Jong Il Jokes More Kim Jong Il Jokes

What did Kim Jong Il call his Kindle?

The Dear Reader.

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.