What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why are there scratches all over your face?

Jujitsu training" You can scratch in jujitsu "It's my cat's best move"

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

Claude

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What did the dog say after a hard day at work?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit, thought i'd share it

Why is today John Philip Sousa Day?

Because he told everyone to march fourth.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?

Coffin

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What did the can say to the can opener?

You make me flip my lid.

Kim Jong Il Jokes More Kim Jong Il Jokes

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.