What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

Why did the dog scratch itself against the tree?

Ruff Bark

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

Claude

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

Why did the funeral director cover his mouth?

He kept coffin

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

Kim Jong Il Jokes More Kim Jong Il Jokes

How did Kim Jong-Il begin his audio autobiography?

Dear Reader

What did Kim Jong Il call his Kindle?

The Dear Reader.