Why are hipsters the oldest known form of life?

They were on the Earth before it was cool.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice?

He won't stop banging at the door.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What did the depressed, illiterate pepperoni slice say when asked where he was with his life?

Well it pizza heck out of me.

What do you call a wizard with a good outlook on life?

An Opti-Mystic.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What's the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?

A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

What did the bear do to be labeled a hipster?

He hibernated in the summer.

How much does the average Hipster weigh?

About 74,000 Insta-grams.