Why couldn't Mozart find his mentor?

Because he was Haydn

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How did the private eye use math to find the intent of the crime?

He solved for y! Thought this one up myself and thought it was post worthy

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.

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What did Mozart and Beethoven do whilst in the grave?

Decompose

Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn!

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Why have they not found Mozart's body yet?

Because he is Haydn.

Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher?

He was Haydn