What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup?

Turn off their console and go to sleep.

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

What does a basketball player do before he blows out his candles?

He makes a swish!

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

Why were the police at the day care?

Because some of the two-year-olds were resisting a rest.

What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster?

HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.