What did the candle say when it couldn't sleep due to his own candlelight?

There ain't no rest for the wicked

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Why did the engineer buy a mattress?

To sleep under it

Candle Jokes More Candle Jokes

Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?

Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

How many lawyer jokes are there?

3, and the rest are true stories.

What do I do when my luggage gets tired?

I rest my case.