Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How can you tell when it's time to go to bed at Michael Jacksons house?

When the big hand touches the little hand

Why did the bear run around his bed?

He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call a self-referential question posing as a joke setup?

Not funny. Except in that you know, "heh, meta" kinda way. Heh, meta.

How did Mister Baggins know when his neighbor had died?

He read it in the Hobbituary.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How the fight started Wife: Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me: How about a newspaper. Wife: OK, which one Me: Today's.

Why did you leave us so early?

He is asked why are you so crying Do you cry about your close relative -No, I am crying about the first husband of my wife.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What happened to German Orphans after WW2?

Did they ever get back on the Reich track (I saw the post in /r/history earlier and was disappointed to find it was a serious question. I fixed it.)

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

John Jokes More John Jokes

What did one John say to the other John?

What's the matter You look flushed!

Whats with the wheel on your john?

The pirate replied, "Arrg it's driving me nuts!"