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How the fight started Wife: Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me: How about a newspaper. Wife: OK, which one Me: Today's.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

Because he wanted to... "Get along little doggy"

Where did the seaweed... Where did the seaweed find a job?

In the "Kelp Wanted" section of the want-ads.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are these?

Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON.

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started?

Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How is "Shark spotted swimming off the coast" news worthy?

Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different.

What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime?

Web Development.

What do you call an aardvark that's just lost a fight?

A vark!

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today

What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?

Alphabet Soup.

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a newspaper bag?

One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.