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How the fight started Wife: Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me: How about a newspaper. Wife: OK, which one Me: Today's.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King?

He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.

Why did the pig send his story to New York?

He wanted to be published on Pork Avenue.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

Why did the Dad divorce his wife after she named their son?

She named him Oedipus.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does a Chinese man start a religious video?

Press pray.

What starts with "E" and has only one letter in it?

Envelope!

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did Virginia get when she walked into the pet shop?

State joke) A New Hampshire

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

How the fight started Wife: Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me: How about a newspaper. Wife: OK, which one Me: Today's.

Who would win in a fight...your mom or your dad?

From the looks of it, your dad won

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What is the date in Germany/Brasil today?

7-1. (World Cup)

How would you like your school girls today, Mr. Holmes?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.