Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus?

He has an Asgard...

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What's Irish and sits out in the rain?

Paddy o' Furniture

What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls?

Altha'or syzygena

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What did Thor say to the weaver fixing his cape?

What are your Hemsworth?

How did The Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

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Why did the cactus cross the road?

It got stuck to the chicken.

How does a cactus do his math homework?

He uses a cacti-lator!

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What did Thor have to wear when he broke his tailbone?

An Asgard.