How does procrastination start?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me".

Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you turn an old dishwasher into a snowblower?

You give her a shovel and tell her to get to work.

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

How do we know that Jesus was made of bread?

Because yeasterday he died and tomorrow he will have risen.

When is my wife's favorite day to make love?

Tomorrow

Procrastination Jokes More Procrastination Jokes

What do we say to the god of procrastination?

Not today.

Which nation doesn't do what it's supposed to do until it's too late?

Procrastination!