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Why do Republicans use rulers?

They want everything to be straight.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why'd the robber take a bath?

He wanted to make a clean getaway.

Why did Greenpeace throw Wolf Blitzer in the ocean?

They wanted to restore the CNNomies

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.

How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

Elephants never forget.

Why did Monica Lewinsky vote Republican?

Because Democrat left a bad taste in her mouth!

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Why are you prodding me with that ruler?

Im measuring your patience

Why do ruler manufacturers make a big thing about them being shatterproof?

Was there a ruler shattering epidemic that necessitated this