Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness?

Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell.

This joke may have profanity.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

What do you get if you play a C&W song backwards?

Your wife back, your house back, your car back, and your dog back.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

What do you call a jungle where animals talk about current events?

A topical rainforest.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did music tell the pancakes?

B flat.

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

What the hell did you expect for ten dollars?

Lobster

Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry?

They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like.