Why doesn't anyone get laid on Thanksgiving?

All the coats are on the bed!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you?

He has a big E on his pajamas.

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.

Why was the bicycle laying on the ground?

Because it was two-tired

Coat Jokes More Coat Jokes

What did the thief say when he saw the man leave his coat behind?

Let's jack it.

What should you do if your walls get cold?

Put on another coat.

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

Where's your maternity section?

Her: Over there. How far along is she Me: Her I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her...