Why TELL you when I can SHOW you?

Then just sit there for 5 years.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in One Direction and pointed in the other.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel.

What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper?

Ruff

5 Year Jokes More 5 Year Jokes

Why did the Soviets implement 5 year plans instead of 4 year plans?

Cuz they were stalin'!

Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Me: Oh, it doesn't matter. You will have fired me well before then.