Why would I want to quit smoking?

Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer

This joke may have profanity.

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Who wants to get enraged and go persecute Christians?

No one.

What did the hungry computer programmer say?

All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble.

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How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

What does one llama say to the other llama before the smoke some weed?

Alpaca bowl!!!

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Why is Santa Claus always so happy?

He knows where all the bad girls live

Why did the orange move to veggieland?

So he could live in peas and hominy.

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Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory?

Because she was fed up with the hole business.

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.