Cortana Jokes

What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)

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What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?

A hobbyte Cortana told me that joke

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Pooh Jokes More Pooh Jokes

Why was Tigger always filthy?

Because he was playing with Pooh.

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What's large, black and steals your credit cards?

Sony Playstation

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving "Black Friday"?

Because everything is a steal.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing?

Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

8 Jokes More 8 Jokes

What is the square root of 69?

Ate Something! ("8 something", actually 8.306)

What has got 8 legs and 1 eye?

2 chairs and a half of a fish.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?

Bob

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What do you call a group of armpit farters?

A pit orchestra. Bonus: World Record for Armpit Farts in 15s(https://recordsetter.com/world-record/most-armpit-farts-15-seconds/9602)

Winnie Jokes More Winnie Jokes

How does Winnie the Pooh open his honey pot?

With his bear hands. Thank the Chive for that one.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common?

The same middle name.

Terrible Jokes More Terrible Jokes

What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...