Crude Oil Jokes

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

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What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

What do Vladimir Putin, Crude Oil, and the Russian Ruble have in common?

They're all going to be 65 this year.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know you put the right joke in the right thread?

Don't worry, someone will tell you.

How many pork chops does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know it's lard to tell.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What is the most important thing for a hungry shark?

A-fish-in-sea.

Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

Ingest Jokes More Ingest Jokes

What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

Why do fish have such bad manners?

It's because of all the crude oil they keep ingesting.

Hydrocarbon Jokes More Hydrocarbon Jokes

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

Why don't hydrocarbons make good criminals?

They're always getting com-busted.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea river