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Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

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Where did Putin tell the protesters where to meet?

Crimea River

Where does Putin negotiate?

The Crimea River

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How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?

With scare spray.

What is Nitrate?

Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!

Vlad Jokes More Vlad Jokes

What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming?

Aqua-Vlad

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

How do you start a joke about Vladimir Putin?

By looking over your shoulder.

What is Vladimir Putin's favourite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea river