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Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn?

China probably can pop corn in one minute.

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What do you call the place where lesbian Eskimos meet up?

A Klondike Bar

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

Vlad Jokes More Vlad Jokes

What do you call an asthmatic vampire?

Vlad The Inhaler.

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

Vladimir Putin Jokes More Vladimir Putin Jokes

What did Vladimir Putin say after dropping a smashing one-liner?

Putout

What do you call Vladimir Putin after an ultimate fighting championship?

Vloody Putin