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Shoelace Jokes

How do Germans tie their shoelaces?

In little knotsies....

Love

Love

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

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What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

Why did the German baker claim on his insurance at Christmas?

Because his bread was stollen!!!

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Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

Who lands first?

The Italian. The black is tied to the tree.

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What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.