How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What happened to the guy who farted in church?

He sat in his own pew.

What's Irish and sits by the pool?

Paddy O'Furniture

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do you call the family members of the Force?

Force-kin My friend made this up today while talking about Star Wars.

Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today?

Abraham Lincoln.

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

How does the chef prepare the chicken?

The waiter replies, "He looks it straight in the eye and says, 'You're gonna die.'"

Why are boy scouts like human sacrifices in a cannibalistic society?

Their motto is "be prepared"

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

Up Jokes More Up Jokes

What did the man reply to his friend that found a good paying job taking care of mentally challenged people?

Oh, so it has its ups and downs.

How's the elevator business?

It has it's ups and downs.