How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What is today's best punch line?

Paul christoforo

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

Up Jokes More Up Jokes

What's it like being bipolar?

It has its ups and downs.

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.