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How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

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Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you call a guy in a suit sitting in a tree?

Branch Manager

What do you call 5 cats sitting on top of each other?

A caterpillar

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

How did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on today.

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

How does a white girl prepare for the world?

Basic training.

Why do girls like me more when i'm preparing potatoes?

Because they find me more appealing.

Cocaine Jokes More Cocaine Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

Up Jokes More Up Jokes

Why can't t-rexs do push ups?

Because they have been extinct for 65 million years.

How did the hail stone describe it's life?

It really has a lot of ups and downs