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Cocaine Jokes

How is credit like cocaine?

Everyone just needs 1 more line.

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What are the similarities between Cocaine and Gain detergent?

With both of them you go sniff sniff hooray!

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out the window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a small bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What is the difference between a 2 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

How does the drug addict know the cocaine is good quality?

He just nose. All credit to my BFF

Love

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Love

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo of cocaine fall out of a window.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What do you call someone who sneezes doing cocaine?

A snowblower

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine &amp a small child?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window...

Why did Johnny Cash have the Cocaine Blues?

He ran out of cocaine.

Why is cocaine the alt-right's favorite drug?

White powder!

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

Why couldn't the police arrest the drug dealer?

Because the evidence was under their noses (They sniffed the cocaine)

What is the climax to a telephone receptionist who is on cocaine?

A second line

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

How many Sigmund Freud's does it take to change a light bulb?

Cocaine.

What do you get when when you mix cocaine and LSD?

Time

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

What is the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton won't let a bag of cocaine fall out of the window.

What do you get when you mix a boxer and cocaine?

A punchline

What's the difference between a bindle of cocaine and a baby?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let one fall out the window

Whats the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

What's the difference between a four-year-old and a bag of cocaine?

There's no way Eric Clapton would let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window!

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Small Child Jokes More Small Child Jokes

What has arms but can't move them?

A small child paralyzed from the waist up.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

What smells like pork?

Kermits finger

What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus?

Koala vomit

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What's the Pirates favorite letter?

Ya think it be the Arrrr, but it's really the C.

How do you keep redditors in suspense?

I dunno, I'll tell ya tomorrow

Blanket Jokes More Blanket Jokes

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Ps Jokes More Ps Jokes

What's the last thing you want to see on the reddit frontpage?

This joke. PS: You don't think so Prove me wrong.

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

5 Year Old Kid Jokes More 5 Year Old Kid Jokes

What's the difference between a 5 year old kid and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

Addict Jokes More Addict Jokes

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

How are dogs and addicts similar?

They both have PAWS