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How do you get a kid to stay low to the ground?

DUCK!" How do you get a kid up and running "GOOSE!"

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How do kids from chernobyl count to a 100?

On their fingers

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Why can't you run through a campsite?

Because you ran when it's past tents.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What does a dyslexic,agnostic and insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

What do you call the spot on the ground just bellow the red keep?

King's Landing

Why did the tree keep getting grounded?

Because it was s knotty pine!

Goose Jokes More Goose Jokes

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose