How do you get a one armed blonde out o...

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door?

Matt

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

Why is the sand so quiet?

Because the waves keep going "shhhhhh".

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

Hello Jokes More Hello Jokes

What did the muslim woman say to her new fiance?

Jihad me at hello.

What kind of computer says "Hello"?

A Dell

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?