How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

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Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

How do you know a girl is into you?

Just pinch yourself, if you don't wake up, she doesn't.

What kind of birds do girls like?

My-cawk!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why did Albert Einstein marry his cousin?

Because she was his relative

Which fruit can never get married?

Melons, because they can'telope.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

Because he chose from the kids menu

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money?

Blacking out and gaining money.