How do you stop a lawyer from drownng?

Shoot him before he hits the ground

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask directions.

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot in the foxhole?

Because Donald ducked.

How many Ferguson police does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just shoot the room for being black.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What do you call a cow that got hit by a car?

Moo-tilated.

How do you hit 20 flies in one shot?

Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites?

New Jersey picked first.

What is it called when two lawyers are fighting?

Civil War

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag?

Grounds for termination!

What do you say when Kim Kardashian burns to the ground?

Look at all that ash...