How many babies does it take to paint a house?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

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House Jokes More House Jokes

Why did Thoreau build a house?

Because he wanted to be walled-in.

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did little Johnny fall off the swing?

He didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike Someone threw a fridge at her.

What do you throw to a drowning banjo player?

His mandolin.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and baby Alien?

One bursts into tears. The other bursts out of tears

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

What's the difference between a nail and a painting?

It only takes one nail to hang a painting.

Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

Depend Jokes More Depend Jokes

What's an old woman taste like?

Depends...

How many tweekers does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on which method you try....