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How much does Jesus love you?

Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How does an octopus go to war?

Well-Armed

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs?

Russel

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why couldn't Jesus waterski?

Because he never existed.

Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?

They couldn't find three wise men or a virgin.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

Why do some people love their VW diesel cars?

Well, it's the official car of the New England Patriots after all.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What did the orphan poker player say?

Will you raise me?

What can an elevator do that a black man can't?

Raise a family.