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What are you doing today?

2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure ' 2: 'I'm definite'.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you call 2 metalheads falling in love?

A match maiden heaven

How do you make a dead dog shake?

2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead dog.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?

To e or not to e that is the question.

Why are millionaires bad at swimming?

Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :(I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

Why didn't you go to school today?

Little Banana: Because I didn't peel well.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What's the best way to make an egg roll?

You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this...

Why are most Hotwheel cars Ford?

So people can grow up getting used to pushing a Ford.

Limit Jokes More Limit Jokes

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

What made the world stop being Blue?

The new softcap limits