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What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

What did the dejected man say to the considerate calculator trying to console him?

It's the bot that counts.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What do ducks get hooked on?

Quack

Why did the duck cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Donald Jokes More Donald Jokes

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

Donald Duck Jokes More Donald Duck Jokes

Why was Donald Duck arrested?

He was high on quack.

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

What do you call the new policing strategy of communities such as Ferguson, Missouri?

A shot in the dark.

Why don't anti-vaxxers hang out in bars?

They're afraid of the shots.

Secret Service Agent Jokes More Secret Service Agent Jokes

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

He's the stiff one.

What did the Secret Service agent say to the President-elect when someone tried to take a shot at him?

Donald, Duck!