What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What does a conspiracy theorist say when he breaks up with someone?

I think we should start seeing other sheeple.

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

What did the mailman say when his Mail truck caught fire?

That he needed to address the situation

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two?

Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!

Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey?

Nuked

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza