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What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?

His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."

How do you know if a pepper is starting a fight with you?

It gets jalapeno face.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What did the match box say to the match?

You're fired!

Why wouldn't the worker accept 10 fresh chickens as a reward for saving a farm on fire?

It was a poultry amount

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?

Bombs

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him.

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn?

Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.