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What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection?

He came and went at the same time.

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How is it May already?

Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet.

Why did the psychic get fired?

Because she didn't see it coming.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What's the difference between my erection and my motorcycle?

My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.

What do you get when you throw a baby against a wall?

An erection

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What's the biggest joke of all time?

My life. My entire goddamned life.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do procrastinators live the longest?

Because they die at the last second.

What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve?

Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning