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What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic?

He charges you double.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the Italian chef when he died?

He.

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

How do you know if someone doesn't like Football and isn't going to watch the Super Bowl?

They'll tell you

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How much do used batteries cost?

Nothing, they are free of charge.

How much do pirates charge for corn?

A Buccaneer

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to *want* to be screwed in.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.

Double Jokes More Double Jokes

How can you double your money?

Look at it in a mirror.

How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"