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What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic?

He charges you double.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

What happens when you microwave a DVD?

You get a VHS tape.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How did the white girl get pregnant?

Her teacher told her to do an essay. (ese)

How do you tell a joke about ISIS?

It's all about the execution

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How do you stop a Lion from charging?

Have a successful dentistry practise.

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Take away his credit card.

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

How do two psychiatrists greet each other?

You are fine, how am I?

Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?

The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

Double Jokes More Double Jokes

How can a can you double your money?

By folding it in half.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back